


Lost in the Dark

by sanvers13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Love Wins, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sanvers - Freeform, Soulmates, alex and maggie forever, alex danvers - Freeform, just lgbts being supportive of other lgbts, love is love, love will always win, maggie sawyer - Freeform, no post-breakup hookups, sometimes separate paths lead you back to where you belong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-01-25 16:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12536584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanvers13/pseuds/sanvers13
Summary: After deciding to go their separate ways, Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer have to figure out life again without the other. Who knows where they end up...After all, soulmates are destined.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We all know what's to come...I hope this gives you all some hope and gratification in a story that's bounded only by love. Alex and Maggie will always remain close to my heart. This is for them. Forever. 
> 
> I hope this does them justice.

Her leather jacket finds the hook and her hands reach for the liquor.

It’s been two weeks without her. Two weeks without laughter, triple dimple filled smiles, playful teasing. Two weeks without her lips landing where they belong, without feeling home in the arms of the one she loves. 

Love. 

It’s been two weeks since she’s seen the woman she considers the love of her life. If she can even call her that now.

Maggie sighs deeply then slouches into the couch with her drink in hand. 

“I’m just losing my cool,” she whispers, unsure if she’s admitting her drinking is slowly slipping from her control or if she’s reassuring herself she’s allowed to do this. She’s allowed to break. 

But she can’t. She won’t. 

She slides her phone out of her pocket and skims through the messages from her partner, captain, and Winn. She furrows her brows at his name. The detective shakes it off, channeling her attention _elsewhere_. She scrolls through her social media until she comes across a series of posts, and her heart drops to her stomach. 

Alex in a dress. Alex laughing beside Kara. Alex surrounded by people she’s never seen. Alex hovering too close to another woman who she doesn’t recognize. Alex. 

Her breath hitches. She tries to take her eyes away, to brush it off like no big deal, but they refuse. They’re glued to the woman she knows so deeply. To the woman who her heart belongs to. To the woman she has spent nights beyond nights discovering and uncovering every single detail about her. 

And there she is, attending a wedding - a wedding, for Christ's sake! - surrounded by people Maggie doesn’t know, looking as beautiful, radiant and _happy_ as ever. 

Maggie manages to lock her phone then downs her drink before pouring herself another. 

 

She's done her best to avoid the bar, in fear of who just might show up. She knows she's being childish, running away from her problems like this, but she's not ready to face her yet. 

So she drinks. Alone. And drinks some more. She throws herself into work, stepping down from certain cases when she knows the DEO will be involved. She drives her Triumph out beyond the city lights until they fade away. She drives and drives, trying to feel the wind through her leather jacket the way Alex made her feel like she was flying. She tries to feel the rush, the calm, the solitude that was Alex. 

Nothing ever works. 

So she drinks. 

She’s never allowed herself to dig a hole this deep. She’s never given herself this much time and room to hurt. She’s never had to. Not like this. Not like she did when her dad kicked her out, opening a wound that didn't show any signs of healing until... 

She swallows again, the brandy burning a hole in her throat. She opens her messages again and scrunches her nose when she clicks on Winn’s. 

**Hey, Maggie. I know this might be awkward for me to say, but I miss you. Alex does too. We all do. Hope you’re doing okay.**

**We’re all here for you.**

**Winn**

She closes her eyes. “Alex does too.” She takes another sip. 

\----  
The sunlight filtering through the curtains of her living room lands upon her face, stirring her awake. Her forehead creases as her drinking from the previous night hits her right where it hurts. 

But no pain is greater than the one she feels in her chest; in her heart.

She slowly moves one foot after another to the ground before bracing herself for a head rush. She groans slightly as she stands, reaching out for the arm rest for support. 

She opens the fridge to a half eaten box of pizza and a few rotten vegetables. 

“Nice going, Sawyer,” she scolded herself. “The grocery store awaits.”

She drew her hair back in a low ponytail, grabbed her jacket and keys, then headed out towards her parked car. It was a tough debacle between choosing silence over the radio. Either way she would have been forced to surrender to her drifting mind, no need to add salt to the wound. 

She meanders her way to her usual section of the grocery store to grab a few options for dinner this week and vegan ice cream. She lets herself take her time, she's not in a rush to go back to her apartment that never felt like home. 

“Maggie?” A voice behind her called out. It took everything in her not to wince at the sound. She turns slowly, steeling herself, and a forced smile plasters itself on her face as Kara stands in front of her bewildered.

“Hi,” she croaked. 

“Uh, ho-how are you doing?” Kara reluctantly stepped forward, and it was easy for Maggie to deduce her intentions. “It’s been…” the blonde trailed.

“Two weeks, one day, yeah. I’m managing,” she lifted the basket, chuckling slightly to keep the mood light. Kara smiled sadly. “How are you?” Maggie bit her lip. The question was loaded. Alex was bound to come up.

“Been working a lot, protecting the city and all,” Kara teased. Before she could stop the words from rolling off her tongue, they were already out in the air, “Alex misses you.” Kara’s eyes bulged as her face blushed with regret. “I didn’t mean to, I-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Maggie waved her off, but her eyes told a different story. There was a storm brewing, drowning out the sparkle that always used to linger. She thought back to the social media posts she saw earlier and wanted more than anything to know if Alex had already moved on, but she couldn't bring herself to get the words out. “I should get going. It was nice to see you,” the detective ran a hand through her hair before taking a step back from her would-have-been sister-in-law.

“Maggie?” the softness to Kara’s voice stunned Maggie. Their relationship was always rocky, but she never imagined they’d have a conversation like this. Especially in the context of the situation. 

“Yeah?” Her voice was quiet, her body language anxious. 

“It’s okay, you know, to take care of yourself. To hurt, to grieve, to cry. It’s okay,” Kara furrowed her brows as she formulated what she was going to say next. “Don’t blame this all on you. Just give it time, give _her_ time...Soulmates are a funny thing,” she nodded, as if she was congratulating herself on nailing her speech. Kara swiftly walked away without giving Maggie a chance to respond. She stood still for a moment, replaying the interaction in her head. 

 

It took a few steadying breaths for Maggie to regain her composure. Her mind raced through the intention behind Kara's words. 

Alex wanted something Maggie couldn't give her. How is it anyone's fault but her own?


	2. Homesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is trying how to live without Maggie. She doesn't remember what it felt like waking up alone, and now she's hurting. She's breaking. She's trying to glue back the pieces she's starting to slowly realize she shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer than planned but I hope you enjoy. (Also, Kara is an essential part of the plot so bear with me....there's also a mention of Sara Lance but this is just two LGBTs being FRIENDS. Don't attack me. I would never.)

"Kara, I'm really not in the mood. I'll just order in and watch The Night Of or something," Alex sighed into her phone. Kara's soft but persistent tone on the other end urged the older sister to open the side window in her apartment. 

Within a matter of seconds, there was a swoosh and Kara appeared in her living room.

"Alex, I really think this would be good for you! You can put yourself out there now and-"

"Put myself out there? Right after losing my fiancée?" Alex scoffed. Kara winced and recalled their similar conversation a few weeks ago when she was in Alex's shoes. Well, she had no room to talk. Kara was childish after losing her boyfriend of what? Months? Alex had just lost the one person that kept her grounded. This was different.

"Look, I-I just think you moping around the apartment all day and burying yourself in work isn't going to help you. Especially in the long run. I don't know, maybe just getting out of here..." she motioned towards the place Alex and Maggie had shared that was filled with memory after memory of late night rambles, cuddles on the couch, and what they had called home. "Maybe it would help you start to heal," she threw her hands up in defense. "And I know what you're going to say about _that_."

Alex pondered for a moment. 

Just six days ago she let the love of her life slip through her fingers. She was broken.

Maybe Kara was right. Maybe a change of scenery, an abundance of alcohol, and leaving this apartment that reminded her too much of _her_ would be good for her. 

"Fine," Alex pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Fine you'll go?" It took everything in the kryptonian to suppress her squeal. The agent nodded, leaning back into the kitchen cabinet. "I gotta tell Barry!" Kara let her excitement take over this time as she dialed her friend's number.

Alex took a deep, steadying breath. She was going to a wedding that wasn't hers. A wedding, of all things, is what the universe threw at her- well, more her sister shoved at her. 

Her own wedding dress dress was hanging in Kara's apartment. Her, Kara, and Eliza took the day to shop and she found the one she knew Maggie would love. She was too nervous Maggie would see it before their day, and of course Kara handled it like she was on a mission. She couldn't bear herself to return it yet.

And she didn't want to.

Not when her heart still belonged to the woman who was going to be waiting for her at the altar while she wore that dress. 

"Okay!" Kara chimed, - thankfully this time- interrupting her thoughts. "Barry had Iris add you to the list even with the extremely late notice! Now we have to get you a dress," Kara beamed. Alex appreciated her sister's effort to appease her pain, she really did, but it was getting very hard for her not to snap her sister's neck in half.

"I am capable of getting my own dress, just so you know," Alex groaned. 

"Okay, well make sure you get it by next week. We're going to be leav-" the distant sound of sirens caught the hero's attention. "I need to go."

Alex checked the alerts on her phone from the DEO and NCPD. She huffed. "I-uh..."

"We have enough agents being dispatched. Talk to you tonight?" Kara rubbed her older sister's shoulders gently. She waited to get a nod in response before flying out the window she came in. 

Alex felt stupid not going to the cases that involved the NCPD. She felt stupid she was letting her personal life affect her job, the one thing that has remained consistent and kept her busy all these years later. She used to make fun of those who dragged their affairs to work but now she was _one_ of those people. Seems fitting she's scolding herself for it now.

 

\---

The wedding was painful. More painful than she expected and let on. Tears had escaped her eyes against her own will, but she wouldn't let her guard down at someone else's wedding. That was just rude. However, Kara was by her side the whole time and she even met a new friend.

She'd be honest with the fact that she never really expected to laugh tonight, even as little as she did. But that was brought on by Sara Lance. It must have been some gay secret code written all over her face, Alex suspected, when Sara nailed her right on the spot. 

It hurt a little - okay it hurt a fucking lot - talking about Maggie in the past tense, particularly with someone she's never met before. Alex and Maggie have been separated for two weeks exactly. And their wedding would have been in four weeks. 

She was six weeks away from having a wife before she tore all they had built down.

Something in Alex's eyes told Sara she was breaking, and something in Sara's eyes told Alex she was trustworthy. So, she listened to her advice.

And man is listening a lot easier than doing.

_"Fight for her. Go to her apartment or her job or wherever you can find her and tell her you made a mistake and you can't live without her. It doesn't hurt to try does it? It will all be a part of your story. Go. Fight. Win your girl."_

The agent was laying in bed, her conversation with Sara replaying over and over again. 

She didn't even fight for Maggie to stay. She didn't leave any room for a compromise, she just shoved Maggie out of her apartment and out of her life without thinking about the consequences. Without thinking about how empty it would leave her and how broken it would leave Maggie. Maggie would never let her in again. How is it anyone's fault but her own?


	3. Hello My Old Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A DEO investigation interferes with a NCPD case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty. Lots of tension. First time they'll be seeing each other in weeks. 
> 
> This is just sort of a filler chapter. I had to figure out a way for them to see each other again, and this was the best way for my plan on this story. Hope you enjoy!

"This is a all-hands-on-deck situation! Load em up and get a move on it as quickly as we can!" The NCPD chief had quickly assembled a team of his best detectives, Maggie Sawyer included. This is a case they've been trying to break for months, and tonight was going to be their night to bring home the trophy.

Or the perps. 

Maggie's chief dismissed the group but pulled her off to the side. "I know your ties with the DEO are questionable right now, but we need to get in touch with them right now," Maggie stifled a sigh. "They have the power and resources we need and we have the knowledge about the case that they don't. Call them on our way there," she nodded at his orders and shuddered when he turned.

She was going to have to call either Alex or Kara. 

\---

It was hard to say that hearing Kara's voice on the other end of the line hurt almost as badly.

Her partner rolled to a stop just outside the boundaries they laid out for their crime scene. Four other squad cars had halted to a stop behind them, all gearing up to face their newest challenge. 

In the rearview mirror, her eye caught sight of the black vans issued by the DEO. She used the case as an excuse for her sharp intake of breath.

The detective snapped her bullet-proof vest into place and snatched her pistol from the glovebox. Just as she stepped out of the squad car, her eyes fell upon that auburn hair she recalls being so soft. 

It hurt. Seeing her. Seeing Alex, dressed from head to toe in her black, skin tight body suit. It hurt knowing that a little under five weeks ago, they were still planning their someday and already had their wedding organized. Maggie was in so deep and seeing the woman she was supposed to be marrying in eight days? She realized it hurt even more than she thought.

She was in deeper than she realized and all that love she's felt since the beginning of their relationship only doubled with Alex's absence. 

Maggie felt her heart clench but this wasn't the time nor place to be thinking about her personal life. Not when lives were in danger. 

She shook it off, if only for a moment, and gathered around the rest of her crew as they did a once-over of their plan. Supergirl dipped down from the sky - making her grand entrance - and joined in before going to brief the agents from the DEO. If there was any hint of subtleness Supergirl was trying to give off, she failed. Big time. Maggie caught notice of her longer, but brief lingers towards her. After all, she did lose a sister in a way too.

The detective tried her best to avert her gaze anywhere but on _her_ but it all came crashing down when her voice broke through her thoughts.

"Detective Sawyer," Maggie wasn't sure who would be the first to break the ice between them. She steeled herself before turning around to face the agent.

"Agent Danvers," she replied cooly. Maggie shifted back on her heels and her hands tucked into the sides of her vest.

"We can handle it from here. Your team should hang back, unless we call for backup if anything gets out of hand. Which shouldn't be a problem for us," Alex showed no signs of pain through her voice, and if Maggie had to admit, she was impressed by it. Maybe it would be easier if they just stuck to their work-related relationship. No emotions. No lingering touches. Nothing. Or maybe she simply wasn't hurting like she was. 

Maggie scoffed, nonetheless, at the agent's demand and tone. "Unless you call _us_ for backup?" She laughed breathlessly then regained her composer. "This case is ours. It's on our grounds, our playbook, our jurisdiction. We were the ones that called _you_."

Alex pursed her lips in response. Kara kept her distance, but she couldn't help her needy super-hearing. "This is a federal crime scene now. You're not needed and that's it," the agent honed in on her radio. "Yeah, get ready to dispatch and engage. Supergirl will cover the air and I will lead the ground-way," she turned towards Maggie once more. "The DEO is going in."

"Yeah you made that one clear," Maggie rolled her eyes. Alex was taken aback for a moment but crossed her arms.

"Is there a problem, Detective?"

"There is, actually. You can't just barge in on a NCPD crime scene and-"

"Hey! You two need to just...calm down," both Alex and Maggie jumped at the interruption. Kara squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

This was unexpected.

"Look, I know it can't be easy," the alien lowered her voice. "But other cops and agents are starting to stare and not in a good way. I'm sure we can figure out a way for all of us to work together," the agent's eyes rolled. Maggie's eyes found the ground. "What's important is that there is an alien out here that's been hurting people for too long and it's up to us to stop him. Okay?" she looked between the two of them.

Maggie quickly glanced at Alex and for a split second, their eyes met and everything else in the world stopped. 

There was no alien. No job or problem. No breakup, no heartbreak. It was just them.

It was just Alex and Maggie once again.

Until Alex visibly turned away from her. "Maggie, J'onn said to split into two teams and for you to catch the North and South sides while we follow through with the East and West," Kara explained to the detective. "Arming all four side entries will be abrupt and swift. We are crashing in three," Maggie nodded in response, exhaling a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She rounded up her teams, leaving the sisters behind. Alex sighed loudly. "We need their help, Alex," Kara furrowed her eyebrows before taking off towards their station. 

\---

It turns out they did need the NCPD's help after all. More than they thought.

Maggie led a group of five through the North entrance, and they were the first to lay a hand on one of their unexpected targets. She ended up arresting three on the spot and took down another two before taking a blow herself. 

Her team and the DEO agents congratulated her on her efforts and hoped for nothing too serious of an injury. All agents but one. 

Maggie was loading her things back into the car when Kara strolled over to her. 

"Hey," she smiled softly and Maggie returned it, her dimples barely appearing.

"Hi," the brunette's voice was small and she felt embarrassed for how weak it made her feel. 

"How's the shoulder?" Kara motioned to where she got hit. Maggie brushed it off. "Just going to leave a bruise, that's all." "Sorry about, uh, earlier. She just isn't handling it we-"

"You don't have to explain," Maggie was exhausted from the day and quite frankly, she was exhausted from the emotional distress their breakup has caused her.

She was hurting. She felt broken. Throwing herself into work seemed like her best idea, but now? Standing in front of the woman who was supposed to be her sister-in-law talking about her ex-fiancée at her place of work? Not helping. 

Kara quirked her lips to the side, contemplating what to say next. "Well, I really missed seeing you, Maggie. Maybe we could go to the bar soon and catch up?" her puppy dog eyes were almost too adorable to resist but Maggie knew what she needed to do.

"I would love to but it wouldn't be a good idea. For either of us. Sorry, Kara," Maggie patted her shoulder before nodding towards her partner, signaling for him to start the car. Kara nodded. Her step forward was reluctant but she did so anyway and found herself wrapping her arms around the tiny detective before she could stop herself. 

Maggie was caught off guard, but let the kryptoninan hug her anyway. She wishes that she hadn't and more than anything, she wishes she didn't catch Alex staring at her from afar. 

\---

Maggie was wide awake at two in the morning. 

All she saw in her mind was _her_. All she heard was her voice.

Tears hit her pillow without warning. It was hard. She had missed Alex, and not just as her fiancée.

She had missed the way her voice sounded and the way she said her name. She yearned for her messy hair in the morning, and her dopey smile when they would be lazing around their apartment. Being alone made her realize how comfortable she felt in Alex's presence; how much she _loved_ knowing all of the agent's attention was on her; how not only did she find her soulmate in Alex, but her best friend, her home, and her better half.

But then she lost her. 

She lost her better half. 

She lost the chance at their lifetime of firsts. Their full, rich, amazing life together is gone.

It's all gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep the comments and kudos coming! They are what keep me writing. So does knowing Sanvers will be endgame. (If that isn't obvious.) There will be more coming soon!


End file.
